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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?